High Noon at the Salon

I don't like my hair. Whenever I got home from Great Clips or Fantastic Sam's I'd look in the mirror and see a guy with crew cut and something like a furry rodent on top of his head. I'm not sure why it took me so long to realize this.

In any case I decided I was done. No more haircuts for me, I'd just use the clippers I got from Wal-Mart, put on the six guard, and buzz it. Leah said she was OK with that, except somehow a few days later I had an appointment at a salon.

The salon was about five minutes from my house so I kept my appointment. Leah must have factored that in of course. She said she didn't think it was a fancy saloon, I supposed that was a good thing, but I started to get nervous when I pulled into the gravel parking lot. This isn't some old lady's house is it?

As soon as I walked in my fears were allayed. That place was hopping. "Call me Maybe" was thumping and there were people everywhere. I talked with the lady at front desk and started looking around for other males. I found two, we exchanged manly nods. Meanwhile 16 women were buzzing around the place like bees. I sat down and waited my turn.

After ten minutes or so, Buffy was ready for me. She asked what to do with my hair and I told her that was up to her. Just something low maintenance please. No I don't use product.

She clipped away and we had a nice conversation about family, school, and work. I found out she does hair and makeup for the Golf channel, and has to wake up at 2:30 AM. I told her sometimes I'm still up that late. "So you're one of those crazy people I see with the lights on!" After a little while she's stops clipping and sticks a little product in my hair anyway.

Nobody told me you had to pay with cash. So I went to the bank. I left her a good tip, took her card, and went to pick up lunch.

It's been said many times, many ways

Freestyle

I'm going to try something a bit different today. I have absolutely no idea what I'll write about for this post. I see it's been a month since my last post, so I figure it's high time.

Who is the target audience for this blog? My family, my friends, and my future self. What would I tell those people? December 13, 2012. Almost the end of time. I'm 29 years old. Levi is four and Noelle is ten months. I've been at my job for seven years. It's in the game. I've come a long way at work, but there is still much more to learn. I think the most important thing I've learned so far is the only thing to fear is stress. Work hard, work smart, and refuse to worry. This is all you have to do, and all you can do.

I was thinking on the way home from work today that there is always more I could do. I could be a much better employee. I thought, don't I feel guilty for leaving work left undone? Guilty!? I answer myself, I'll tell you what I feel guilty about: not being with my baby and my four year old son.

The one mysterious and vital variable in this equation is time. Yes, I'll do my very best at work, but how much time? I could always do better by working more. Spooky. Spooky I tell you. I wonder if I'll get to the point where my desire to avoid too many hours will prevent me from further career progression. What if I'm much closer to that point than I realize? What would I do instead? You see... I have this desire to achieve things, to accomplish things. I don't think it really matters what. It just needs to be difficult. Something I can be proud of. Often, usually on Sunday or vacation, I sit around and think about what I want to accomplish. Oh what I could! It only takes time and energy, but I find often my desire to achieve ends up being less than cost of commitment, and I begin to believe the only way to achieve something truly difficult is to work towards it even when you don't feel like it. Something I call force. Why force personal projects? It's not clear if the end goal is worth the sacrifice.

All that being said, I have to carry a heavy burden that most everyone else has to carry as well: I have to make a living. This means work. This means you have to do it even when you don't feel like it. What if... I channel that force into achieving something difficult? BAM! Two for one! This leads me to something I often have to remind myself on those rainy Sunday afternoons: I accomplish at work.

I've often thought that working late every night is taking the easy way out. I want to achieve difficult things. It's much more difficult to be successful at a demanding job while still leaving time for other things in your life. So I reckon I'll try.

I guess all that work stuff was on my mind, lurking below the conscious line. Behold! I shine the spotlight of reason upon thee! Feel better? Yeah, I think so. I mean I felt fine.

I'm going to watch Alias with Leah now.

Noey and the Pumpkin

Vote Now - Save America

A new post

This one will probably be a bit directionless. I've been playing Diablo III and Torchlight II, but I think I'm finally done. I highly recommend both. In fact, I was thinking about even writing an in-depth review of the two, comparing and contrasting the games: the merits of potion cooldowns and free respecs, balancing offline play vs a global online economy, etc, but I'm not going to do that now because I don't feel like it. In fact, I don't really feel like doing anything. You ever get that way?

I told Levi I just felt a bit "blah". After some back and forth he eventually understood it as "don't feel like playing anything" which is as good a definition of "blah" as any, I think.

Somehow, I think this post is going to help me nudge past feeling so blah. I've been meaning to write a decent post for a while. Hmm.. I'll settle for just a post.

We went to Chili's and the pumpkin patch today. Took some pictures and found a beauty (as far as pumpkins go). I'm slowly beginning to learn the intricacies of leadership at work. Baby laughs and laughs when I kiss her because my nose tickles her neck. I've taught Levi a single-leg and crossface. And apparently, when I'm in a state such that I say whatever is on my mind, I tell Leah I love her.

8th Annual Greater Maitland 5K

Results (search for Parry).

A few things

1) Levi's questions are becoming more difficult to answer. "What's a planet?" I can get through, but "Is a bubble a liquid?" requires google.

2) Baby girl scoots around on her belly all over the house. She also likes to say "da-da-da-da".

3) I'm obsessed with Diablo 3 right now so you'll have to wait until I'm bored with that for a better post.

Heard at our house today

OK baby Noelle. Do NOT take your socks off and eat them.

Red Sox

Levi played his first baseball game today. First sporting event, really. He got two hits and almost stopped one grounder.

I was the third base coach, and the "outfield coach" which basically means tell the kids to stand up and look ready.

Ruby Power

Need to go to bed. But, you'll be impressed to see the results of my program:
21990232555549 is prime.
No joke. And I can do better. Much better.

Read it and weep

Yup. Somehow I got talked into being an assistant coach. When I agreed I didn't realize I had to sign up for an online course. It was a monster! After twenty minutes of reading and multiple choice questions I thought I was almost done, but that was only unit one of ten!

I wasn't going to spend my weekend taking that course. I figured as long as I kept the kids from crawling on the dugout fence and pouring their water bottles on each other I'd be OK. I discovered I could just click through the course without reading anything or doing any of the coursework. So that's what I did. However, ten minutes of clicking "Next" later, I'm presented with a final exam. I can't be certified unless I pass. Whoops.

I had to get an 80% or better on the test. I missed all the baseball questions (something about when to use a cutoff man or where the catcher should put his hand if there are two outs and no runners on), but thankfully there were plenty of questions like this:

What are the three goals every coach should strive to achieve with his or her team?
a. continual learning
b. having fun
c. being excited about baseball
d. all of the above

Certified Baseball Coach. Be it known to all.

Work Today

There's a sealed box. I have to open it.
Try jamming a chisel in the crack.
Hit the chisel with a hammer.
Hit the box with the hammer.
Hmm... take a breather.
Hit the box with a rock.
Drop the box on the rock.
Drop it off a cliff.
Drop the rock off the cliff onto the box.
Hmm... what now?
Throw it in the water. Maybe being wet will help.
Try the chisel again.
Try the hammer again.
Worth trying the rock? Sure. Thud. Nope.
What now?
Box... open... what can I do? Must find a way... but.... how?
Think, think, think.
What happens if I shake it? Sounds good... but I need to open it.
"ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO OPEN THIS BOX!?" echo, echo, echo....
I'll sit on the box. Sit here and think some more.
Claw! Scratch! Kick! Punch! Sit.
Time to go home. We'll pick it up tomorrow.

New Track

I made this song a while ago. It was one of three songs I made while working on a third album. I abandoned the project after a couple of days and this is the only one worth listening too. That being said, I like it. Yes, I know it's repetitive, but come on, it's two minutes and thirty six seconds. Just sit back, relax, make sure you got some bass, and enjoy.

http://alias-seven.bandcamp.com/track/grey

Levi T Ball

Levi had his first T-Ball practice today. I have to admit I was a little nervous, I just didn't know what to expect.

We found our way to the little guy field and made it just in time for the kick-off parent meeting. Come to find out, Levi is one of four new guys. All the other kids played last season, and some played the season before that. Gulp. Levi and I played catch once. I filled out an order form for his new Red Sox Jersey, what size (small), the name for the back, "Parry", and what number. After some deliberation we went for 17.

Coach then rattled off some stats about the percentage of high school senior baseball players who go on to play in the NCAA, then the percentage of college seniors who go on to play in the Major Leagues. Point being, we're just here to have fun. They don't even keep score, and he said he'd be happy to teach them how to run the bases the right way. That made me feel a bit better but, I wasn't so sure. Some of these kids looked serious. Like Tessa. She was one of the third year vets. She'd run around and flip kid's caps off their head (but not Levi, he didn't have a hat. Just his Spiderman shades).

Coach formed two groups, and it quickly became apparent he divided the veterans from the rookies. The vets went work on grounders with assistant coach Mike, and Levi trotted off with the rookies to practice throwing a tennis ball in a straight line. Come to find out, that's tricky. I think even coach was a little confused about how to correct Levi's wild sidearm spinny toss.

When it was finally the rookies' turn to work on grounders I was proud to see Levi stop the ball in the dirt, but then he tried to throw it to first with his glove hand... That's ok; coach showed him what to do.

After that Levi came over to where I was sitting for a water break. "Did you see that Dad? I was awesome!"

Batting practice was next. Levi dug in the dirt with a stick for about ten minutes while he waited for his turn. "Who's next?" Coach Mike said.  I reminded Levi that he was the only one who hadn't gone yet. He walked over to the tee,  grabbed a (metal) bat and put on an enormous helmet. Long story short, coach Mike is amazing because within a time span of five minutes, Levi went from not knowing which side of the bat to hold to blasting humdingers off the tee. Now we just need to get him to remember all that by himself during the big game. Gulp.

One more practice run around the bases, another water break or two, and it was time to learn the... cheer? "Hands in the middle everybody" (Levi wandered off and a kind team dad nudged him back towards the huddle). "One, Two, Three - REDSOX!"

I asked Levi if he had a good time, and he said "Yeah!". And from that moment, he chattered incessantly until we got back to the house. About Star Wars.

Why

Levi: My friend kept asking me why today. Every time I'd say, 'just because'. 'Why are you asking why?' Then he'd say 'why?'
Mom: Sounds like you.
Levi: Why?

Summertime

I grilled out twice this weekend. It is a simple joy: food on fire, the sounds of nature, and a cool beverage. But now... it's back in front of the computer screen for simulations of space-age warfare.

Starcraft Post Two

Nearly three months later I finally get promoted.


Here's where I stand:


From terrible to very bad. Oh Yeah. Here's the thing though... I'm extremely proud of my accomplishment. All my friends who play Starcraft will laugh, but it was tough for me to get out of the bronze league. I was just so, so, bad. I had to improve so much and I had to learn to battle "ladder anxiety". I had to learn how to get better at the game. I watched replays, read strategies online, barraged my friends with questions, watched professional games, and above all just played a lot of Starcraft. In fact, I've put more hours into this game than most any other, and I'm just getting started.

Meet Cam

The Monte Carlo died. We knew the day was coming but it surprised us nonetheless. Leah drove me around for about two days before she decided she couldn't take it anymore. So, we did a little research, checked over the budget, and bought this fine 2010 Toyota Camry. Leah gets the new car and I get to eat peanut butter sandwiches for the next three years.

Mario Party

Cujo and Wolf

I woke up to "Get up. The neighbor's dog is in our backyard."

Sure enough, there he was, prowling around like he owned the place. He was huge, and he'd come right up to our porch window, stare us down, and let loose a deep, beastly bark. Normally, I guess, that wouldn't be too big of a deal except we have a fence between our yard and the neighbor's. What did he do? Dig under it? Jump over it? No. He busted through it. There was a gaping hole punched through the old wood.

I figured I'd just go next door, explain the situation, and let the neighbor deal with it. Ding dong. No answer. Knock, knock, knock. Nothing. I came back and said nobody's home. Levi said "Oh well. I guess you can't go to work", but I explained that you have to go to work even when there is a strange dog in your backyard. I convinced Leah that I'd deal with it when I got home and I left.

About noon I got a call from Leah. I was in a meeting (or eating tacos?) so I didn't answer. I thought I'd just call her right back, but I forgot. Not an hour later she called again and I answered. "Hey. I'm at the Home Depot. What kind of wood should I get to fix this?" I say, "You don't want to just let the neighbor deal with it?" She says, "No. I had friends over today and we were trying to play in the Florida room but they kept barking at us." Apparently there were two dogs now. "And, to make it worse I really need to water my flowers or they're gonna die, but I'm not going out there. I think the neighbors are at the hospital having a baby or something." I say, "Uhhh. Ok". She made it clear that I would fix the fence when I got home from work.

On the way home, I mentally prepared for the showdown. Odds are, I'm just going to walk over to the hole in the fence, screw on the board that'll be that. But what if they're on my side of the fence when I get there? What if they hear me open the door and rush over to check it out? Maybe I should open the door as quietly as possible and hurry over to the hole so I can plug it up before they come out. Maybe they'll see me and advance, but I'll just charge the hole with my plywood up as shield, then I could apply my body weight to hold the beasts back. But... what if my cheap battery powered screwdriver isn't strong enough to screw into the wood... I'd better carry a hammer and some nails for backup. Yeah... wood shield and a war hammer.

Then I thought of another problem. My plywood was strong but the fence was weak. I could plug the hole but they'd just bust through the fence again. Then, I'd be caught off guard and I'd be in trouble. I always figured if I ever got attacked by a dog I'd try to get the animal to bite down on my forearm to protect my face and jugular... of course if there were two of them then I might have one on each arm... I'd have to drag them back towards the house and try to punch them off. I'd signal for the family to fall back into the kitchen in case the monsters got into the Florida room. A little trip to the emergency room and I'd be fine. Just have to keep them off my vitals.

OK. Enough planning. I'm home. Let's do this.

Turns out, the neighbor was home, he fixed the fence already, and the dogs were in their backyard rolling around and playing fetch with his kids. I checked out the repair job, said hello, and congratulated him on his new baby. The dogs came over wagging their tails and sniffed my hands. I played it cool, like it was no big deal, but I was thinking you beasts better be glad we didn't have to battle.

Quick Levi Update

He can add now. I asked him if he knew what three plus two was. He put three fingers on one hand, two on the other, and counted them up. "Five." Wow! I said, I didn't know you could add. Where did you learn to add? "Adding school."

He's also learned to talk trash while we're playing video games. I ran into the first goomba in the first world on Mario and he said, "Dada. Remember when I was playing and I jumped over that guy?" Later, I was losing big-time on the ridiculously hard special levels (he won't even try those). He said I was the "B-A-D-est ever", and I was so bad that I couldn't be in the family anymore. I said that wasn't even funny, but was laughing on the inside.

Be Happy

I've been reading a blog by Paul Graham. It's mostly programming/startup stuff, but his post from last April stuck with me. He references an article about the regrets of the dying, then transforms them into a blurb worthy of the top of your todo list:

Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy.

Those are all great, but I've found that remembering to "be happy" makes a real difference in my day to day. The key point is realizing that it is a choice. Though, it's not quite as simple as "go-go-be-happy" and you're all smiles. It's something you can't quite control, except perhaps indirectly. Here are few things that may help you do that.

Focus on the good. If something makes you happy, think about it. If you achieved a goal, think upon it and be happy. If fortune smiles upon you, smile back.

Don't let the bad get you down. This is basically a double standard. Circumstances are good? Be happy. Circumstances not good? Don't be unhappy. This one might be the most useful. Everyday something happens or we think about something that should probably make us upset, stressed, worried, or sad. Maybe it should or could, but what if it didn't? Is there really any benefit to, say, worrying about a project at work that is behind schedule? What if you just decided not to worry about it and instead, decided to be happy?

It's all relative. This one is a bit weird. Imagine a kid who plays with sticks, a beat up soccer ball, and an old raggedy teddy bear. All else equal, do you really think he'll be any less happy than the kid with every toy in the toy store? Are rich people happier than poor? I think I'm trying to suggest that happiness is relatively independent of circumstances. All you have is the present so you might as well enjoy it.

It's OK to not feel so happy for a bit. Sometimes you just feel blah. Our brains have lots of chemicals and stuff we (or at least I) don't understand. Sometimes I like to sing the first two lines of that Cake song "I'm not feeling alright today, I'm not feeling that great." And that's OK.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me

The New TV

I hooked my laptop up to my TV through HDMI, went to twitch.tv, and I'm now watching the MLG 2012 Spring Starcraft II Championship. They have an "observer" who acts as the camera man, announcers, intermission analysis, replays, sponsors, and funky background music. It really feels like a low-budget ESPN presentation. Except it's Starcraft. Not into Starcraft? No problem! You can watch whatever you want on the New TV.

Fire and Ice

Fire's main attack is Fireball though it can really turn up the heat with Flame Wave, and Volcano. Ice, can't claim the same damage output, but excels in defensive spells like Ice Shield, Blizzard, and the old reliable Frostbolt.

Sam's Club

We went to Sam's club to restock on non-perishables. Leah was excited, and I was trying to decide if it was worse than going to the dentist or not. We didn't buy food because it would most likely go bad, but Levi really wanted the box of 72 Pop Tarts.

Leah loves a good deal, and I'm always skeptical about whether we actually need industrial sized packages. I end up battling each thing she tries to put in the cart, but she's in charge of keeping the household items in stock so I defer to her judgement. I'm pretty sure Noelle won't be a baby anymore after we run out of the baby powder we bought today.

I don't know why, but I find that place funny. There's just something goofy about a 96 oz jar of mayonaise or a barrel of pickles. When Leah's not looking I like to sneak stuff into the cart, like two gallons of nacho cheese.

Levi was really impressed by the tower of paper towels 40 ft. high. I said I'd need a helicopter to get those. He said either that or a go-kart with sticky wheels. When I said those are hard to find, he said they're Japanese.

As our oversized shopping cart began to pile up Leah remembered that she forgot to take the stroller out of the trunk before we left. She said we could put the napkins back. I know you're thinking napkins aren't very big, but this was like 16,000 paper napkins. She looked kinda disappointed, so I said, nah, we'll keep it and just pile stuff in the backseat with the kids. Problem was, she just kept getting more stuff. Our shopping cart was overflowing; Levi had to hang on to the paper towels to keep them from falling out. So I put the napkins back. Even without the napkins it was close. I had to ride home with 36 rolls of toilet paper in my lap.

Baby Cheeks

Levi, Noelle, and Leah were sitting on the couch. Levi puffed out his cheeks and asked if they were bigger than his baby sister's. She said, yes, but only when you puff them out. He asked why they weren't bigger all the time. She said babies have chubby cheeks because they just sit around and drink milk all day. So, he said I'm gonna sit here all day. After a few minutes he asked, are they bigger yet? Mama said no, so he gave up and ran off.

Afternoon

Levi took this with his toy camera. He's an artist I tell you.

Going Swimming

The Ladder

My new goal is to get good at Starcraft II. The way you measure this is by what league you're in. There are 5 leagues each holding about 20% of the player pool, and there are special elite leagues at the very top. When you start out you play in five "placement matches" vs. online opponents to determine your initial league placement. After going 0-5, here's my placement:



Bronze League. I made a chart of the leagues (drawn to scale) to demonstrate where I stand:



Congratulations! You are terrible.

Only way to go from here is up.

Like Father Like Son

Leah and the kids have been visiting family in Georgia this week (while I work my life away). Here's a report from Granny:

Granny: "Hey, so I hear you're gonna be 4 on your birthday.  Aren't you excited?"
Levi: "Naw, birthdays aren't THAT much fun."
Pepaw: "You could go somewhere special."
Granny: "You could stay home and invite your friends over."
Levi: "Well, birthdays aren't that much fun."
Granny: "How 'bout if you play Mario all day long on your birthday?"
Levi: "WHAT did you say, Granny?"
Granny: "How 'bout if you play Mario all day long on your birthday, with your Daddy?"
Levi: "Yeah, that DOES sound like fun; I'll wear a party hat!"

It's a secret to everybody

Don't tell the people who read my Magic blog, but I'm a little worried about it. It's a long story, but the main reason I enjoy playing games is to try to be really good at them, and I think I've realized for me to get better at Magic I'm going to have to spend a lot of money on the game, and I don't want to. Even if I do there are other problems like high variance and lack of creativity at the competitive level.

Compare to something like, say, Starcraft. $60 and you're done. Another dollar won't help. It's pure. Also there is the ladder to climb. At any give point you have basically a numerical value of your skill in the form of your league and rank. Magic is much more nebulous.

I have a desire to compete, and because of my Magic site I really tried to make it Magic, but it just doesn't seem to be working out. So I'm going to play some Starcraft. What about my site!? If it dies, it dies. But I think that's jumping to conclusions.

If I give up on my Magic blog, I'll be disappointed, but I certainly won't do it if I don't enjoy it, and I can't really control that. Even if the site dies and disappears from the internet it won't be all for naught because through it this site was born.

I'm thinking this site will be much harder to kill because I can write about anything, much to my readers' dismay I'm sure.

Super Mario Showdown and the Fatal Fireball

We had a Super Mario 3 competition at work. I jumped at the opportunity to represent my "pod" because Levi and I had been playing a lot of Mario 3 over that last month or two. I was also hoping to redeem myself after the 3v3 soccer tournament in which my very poor physical conditioning was largely responsible for our team's defeat.

Every now and then when Levi and I were playing Mario 2 or Super Mario World, I'd tell him that I have this Mario 3 contest at work so we should really be playing that so I could practice. He usually agreed, except he wouldn't let me play, so I didn't get much practice.

Practicing had to be done after Levi went to bed. First order business? Google Mario 3 "speed run". Wow. That looks impossible, but I learned a few good tricks. For example, somehow I never knew about the whistle in World 1 fortress, and the quicksand trick in 8-2, and the glitch through the wall trick in Bowser's castle (more on that one later).

Players had 30 minutes to get as far as possible. If multiple players beat the game, the fastest time won. I had to assume everyone knew about the warp whistles, and a run through the first two whistles puts you in world 8 in less than five minutes, so it really came down to the final level. My goal was beat it all before time ran out. During practice, I came very close the 30 minute mark, but didn't quite make it. I figured if I was on my A game I could do it on the big day.

The morning of the showdown finally arrived. I took Levi to preschool, he wished me luck, and on to work. I'm in the zone, feeling ready for anything, this is my time. Except my time slot isn't until 12:30... so I guess I have to get out of the zone and do some work. So I do.

Go time. 12:30. Back in the zone. 1985 NES plugged into a projector in a conference room, my closest allies show up for support. 3-2-1 go.

I'm feeling the nerves, but maintain focus. A perfect run through the first two whistles. "Time?" I yell. Kleber fires back "Two minutes and fifty seven seconds". Now we get serious.

I'm plugged into the game like the Wizard. Tank down. Ship down. Past the hands, the airship. Now it get's real serious. 8-1 smoked, 8-2 a little stumble, then smoked. I fly though the fortress, and breeze through the super tank.

"Time?" Eighteen minutes. The final showdown, Bowser's Castle. I never had problems with the castle so I smell victory. But therein lies the problem. I realized it soon after I went into the castle. In my practice games I always had a mushroom, so I could take advantage of the wall walking trick I learned from youtube, and waltz almost right up to Bowser's lair. Problem was, I was small, and didn't have any mushrooms in my backpack. Ok.. I thought... I'll just go the other way. I don't know the other way. I've never beat this small. What do I do?

My worst class in college was Combinatorics. My grade going into the final was not good, but the final was worth an enormous part of your letter grade, so I had chance. It all came down to the final exam. Combinatorics is a very logical subject. You basically have to solve a bunch of word problems about abstract things, and you're supposed to solve these by figuring out how to apply the principles and formulas they teach you in class. Problem was, I didn't know as many of these principles and formulas as I should have, and I definitely didn't know the ones I was supposed to know to solve the problem on that last page worth like a quarter of your final grade. So, I started thinking about how I was going to fit this class into my schedule next semester after I failed it. But then I starting thinking about the problem. I drew some pictures. Thought some more, drew some more pictures, and eventually I'm pretty sure I derived whatever formulas I was supposed to know because I didn't fail Combinatorics. Somehow, I solved that problem without knowing what I was supposed to know, for the first (and only) time in my life on the final exam when it mattered most.

So. Time to play through this castle without the shortcut for the first time when it mattered most. I went in doors that took me nowhere, looped back around to the beginning of the castle, got roasted by fireballs and zapped by lasers. I lost Mario after Mario. I was on tilt, walking into lava pits and making the same mistakes over and over. I was doomed.

Then somehow, I pulled myself together, and figured it out, but not before I burnt ten minutes. I strolled into Bowser's lair, standing tall, ready for the final showdown. "Time?" Twenty eight minutes and thirty seconds. Plenty of time, but this is the last chance. Do or die.

If you never battled Bowser before, here's an image:


You can't jump on his head. You have to dodge his fireballs and his very speedy butt stomp so that he hits the same piece of brick three times. Then he falls through and you win. First butt stop I get a bad roll. Bowser and his fireball give me a near impossible angle to jump through. Everyone concurs there's nothing I could've done about it. Shake it off. Mario's not super anymore, but he's still alive. Dodge to the side. Second butt stomp... perfect. Dodge to the side. Final stomp. This is it. If I can make sure Bowser hits that final strip of narrow brick while not getting hit by him or the fireball, I win. Wait for it, wait for it, NOW! I thread the needle and land safely while the King of Koopas falls to his doom. Victory.

Right?

At this point it gets a little fuzzy. I remember a wave of relief. I relaxed, defocused, and basically zoned out. Then I hear, "The door, the door! You have to go through the door to finish the game". Oh right. I better jump up there before my time runs out. So I do, but I didn't notice that the door hadn't opened yet, and I didn't notice the fireball coming right at my face. Then I saw it, but I was stuck in that DEATHTRAP of a doorway with NOWHERE TO GO! Could I duck? No! Jump! Hit the ceiling. Roasted. Cut the victory music and roll the game over sound.

I wish I was making this up, but that's exactly what happened. I wandered down to the cafe in a daze, grabbed a burger and tried to compose myself. Just a game... So close... Just a game... I had it... Just a game... Leah called. She could tell from my voice that it didn't go well. She has a way of making stuff like this seem very unimportant, so I kind of felt better, but not really. Let me talk to Levi, he'll understand my pain. I explained the whole situation. "...and then right before I went in the final door to the end of the game I got hit by a fireball!" He said, "How big was it?" I said, "The fireball? Pretty big." He thought that over a bit and said, "Maybe next time you can try harder."

Maybe next time I can try harder. It bugged me all day. Every time I wasn't completely focused on work, for just a second, I'd remember that fireball. So close... Just a game... Bowser was dead! Just a game... Apparently it made an impact on Levi too. Leah said he talked about Daddy losing to Bowser all day. He even volunteered to say his prayers before he went to bed. All he remembered was "help Dada do better at Mario and beat Bowser".

I'm going to bed. I'll feel better tomorrow, though I fully expect nightmares about doors that won't open and pixelated fireballs.

Lego Club

I went to Lego Club with Levi today at the preschool during lunch. We were working on our lava castle when the kid next to us asks Levi if he'd ever been to Sea World. Levi says yeah. Kid says he'd been like a billion times.

Levi takes it all in stride, places a few more legos on the castle then asks me quietly so the kid can't hear "Dada, how many times have we been to Sea World?" I say about five.

He tells the kid, "My bear's been a zillion times".

Kid shoots back "I've been an infa-million times," then looks to me for confirmation. "Infinity, maybe?" I ask.

Kid says, "Yeah, that's it. It's the biggest number."

I say, "Well, it's not really a number... It's more like... hmm... well you can't go any more than infinity, that's for sure".

Levi says, "Bear did."

Alpha

At work, every year we have a three month crunch. For a variety of reasons, I've been fortunate enough to miss out on the brunt of the crunch so far. Not anymore.

Starting tomorrow I'll be working a lot. I expect it to last about a month. If I was single, I really don't think I'd mind. We get dinner provided, I don't mind working, and we don't have to work so much that you can't do anything else. But, as you know, I'm not single. The hard part is being away from my family.

This morning Leah and kids took me to work. On the way there I told Levi that I hoped he had a great day. He said, "You know what the best part will be? Playing games with you when you get home." He must've peed his pants or talked back to his mom because when I got some he said, "Dada, guess what? No games," but that's beside the point.

In previous years Leah and Levi would come see me almost every day for lunch or dinner, but I realized he did want to play games with me, not just eat and "visit" (at the moment we're playing through Super Mario 2). So my plan is to wake up a bit earlier and play Nintendo with him for a half hour each morning. I'm really (really) not a morning person, so this is going to be hard, but I think I can do it. I'll definitely have to go to bed earlier. I also have to be at work earlier than normal.

Leah and the kids are going to visit family in two weeks so I won't feel bad about working a lot then.

Why go through this? I really like my job. Every year I wonder if I'm going to put up with another alpha, but I'm still here. Hopefully I can put more of the pressure on myself (less time for fun things) than my family. As long as I can do that, I'm confident I can sustain the yearly crunch. Much better to have a job you enjoy that requires some extra hours than one you don't from 9-5.

When I don't get to see my family at night or on a Saturday it makes me realize how much I enjoy my time with them, and being with them every day, if only for a little bit, isn't so bad at all.

The Library

For some reason, this morning I thought of a conversation I had in college with an old girlfriend from high school. We were on the Georgia Tech campus. It went something like this.

Old Girlfriend: Hey!
Me: Hey! What's up? How are you?
Old Girlfriend: Oh, I'm doing good. You go to school here?
Me: Yeah.
Old Girlfriend: That's cool. Sometimes we come downtown and hang out.
Me: Cool.
Old Girlfriend: You ever go the library?
Me: ...
Me: Yeah. Sure... every now and then...
Old Girlfriend: ...
Me: ...
Me: You mean the library with books?
Old Girlfriend: Hehe. No. The Library club.
Me: Oh! Of course! The club. Yeah. No. I don't really go to the Library much. I mostly go to... uh... um... the other library.
Old Girlfriend: I see.
Me: Ok then.
Old Girlfriend: Bye.

Reckless Mowing

It was time to mow the weeds. When Leah fusses at me to go to mow the "grass" that means I'll have to do it not that weekend but the next. She fussed last weekend so today she meant business.

I enjoy mowing the grass because it's one of the few times I get exposure to the sun, and I use the time to think. Whatever I end up thinking about, it isn't mowing. So I wasn't really paying attention when I spotted one last corner of the yard to mow, right next to one of those spam newspapers in an orange plastic bag. I'd like to say I didn't notice, or was distracted, but really I was just too lazy to pick it up. So I edged as close as I could without hitting the newspaper, little closer... POOF! Happy new year! Happy birthday! A spam confetti mushroom cloud in the front yard.

I rolled the mower over that last weed, cut the engine, looked around, and decided I should probably start cleaning this up. I grabbed a few of the bigger pieces then the wind kicked up to spread the fallout throughout the neighorhood.

Downloading Diablo

I bought a digital copy of a twelve year old game today. I sort of forgot that Blizzard's digital games are distributed through the terrible, inconvenient, and obnoxious Blizzard Downloader.

I made the mistake of buying Starcraft II digitally and had to wait like twelve hours to download the game I paid $60 for. I could have driven to to Walmart, bought the game, stopped by the driving range, and installed it from disc faster than that. I can download games from Steam in a fraction of the time it takes to go through this peer-to-peer piece.

SO. While I wait for my game to download, we'll talk.

I never played Diablo 2. I don't know what I was playing around 2000, but it probably should have been this. I got to talking about the game with some guys at work, and it was apparent how much they loved it. One guy said he bought the game four times because his mom kept destroying his discs. They were all such fans of the game, they were heartbroken to hear about Blizzard dumbing down Diablo 3 for the masses. At one point the guy next me said JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT DIABLO 3. I CAN'T HEAR THIS ANYMORE.

I played Torchlight recently and loved it. I figure it's time for the classic.

Download complete!

Potpourri

It's still March?

We got Visual Studio 2010 at work. The good: it's blue. The bad: it's so slow it makes me want to bash my head into my keyboard. I finally put in a request for SlickEdit.

I think it's kinda lame to sign your emails "Cheers" unless you actually say "Cheers" in real life. I also think these Twitter hashtags that are being forced down our throats are pretty lame too. Stuff like #shamrockshake. So, obviously, I'm going to start signing my emails "#cheers".

Did you know that I made some music? I think I might be the only person who listens to it, but I'm really a fan. Seriously, I listen to my own stuff all the time. Is that weird? #isthatweird

Levi knows how to google search for exactly one thing: "bob". This finds Bob the Builder, then he plays games. Leah told me today that he had a little typo... thankfully she jumped up and helped him before he searched for "boob".

Mona the Monte Carlo's Mirror

It took me a few seconds after I sat down to realize my rear-view mirror had fallen off. It was hanging from the ceiling by a wire. I was a bit confused. What happened? Was my window broken? No... I think it just... fell off. I had been suspecting this for a while, but at that moment it became clear: my car is an official P.O.S.

What to do? I picked it up, put it up where it was supposed to go, put it back down. I guess I just go home. I looked at the spot where my mirror was supposed to be, then craned by neck around backwards and backed out of my parking spot.

Driving home was interesting. Not only am I missing a review mirror but I have this thing flapping around my car like a plastic vampire bat on a string. Every time I turn I have to grab hold of it or risk being knocked in the head. To make matters worse, I think I have the least tinted windows you can possible have, and I didn't need a mirror to feel the guy in the BMW behind me laughing.

Don't worry. This is nothing a little Loctite Rearview Mirror Adhesive can't fix. Or duct tape.

A Play in 1K

Charlie: Did you hear we're going to be characters in a play?
Dan: You're breaking the fourth wall.
Charlie: The what?
Dan: Nevermind.
Charlie: A one kilobyte play no less! Who's ever heard of a 1k play? That's just ridiculous.
Dan: You've really never heard of the fourth wall?
Charlie: [blank stare]
Dan: Ok. Forget it.
Dan: Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Charlie: I mean what the hell can we do in 1k?
Dan: Not much.
...
Charlie: You know Anne is going to be a playwright.
Dan: You think so?
Charlie: You never know.
...
Charlie: Plays are supposed to be seen on stage. Not read off a screen. So I don't see why 1k means anything.
Dan: I guess the author can intend whatever he wants.
Charlie: Blah. He's a chump.
Charlie: Plays were around back before people could read.
Dan: Whaat?
Charlie: I'm serious.
Dan: How can you possibly know that?
Charlie: It's a fact!
Dan: Ok.
...
Charlie: Leah's gonna hate this post.

Baby Magician

Every night I swaddle Noelle in this Velcro straight jacket thing (it's for her own good). She thinks she's Harry Houdini. She starts moving her arms around under there and sometimes she busts out, or at least gets one hand poking out the top.

Lately she's been cheating. She pulls her hand up real quick before I get it on all the way. I tell her to wait until I say go, but she doesn't listen so I have to hold her hands down.

Last night she tried a new tactic I couldn't quite figure out. Somehow she was twisting her body, or maybe pulling her knees up, so I couldn't get the swaddle wrapped up all the way. I'm sure she was trying to get me to slack off on the swaddling so she'd have an easy time escaping.

Who knows what she'll come up with next.

Naps

Real quick post. Gotta be straight with you, I love sitting around the house. It's Sunday, we skipped church, Levi's taking a nap (actually asleep), Noelle's taking a nap, Leah's taking a nap. I'm working on my webpage (the other one).

Also, Friday night we went to Five Guys then the park. It was lots of fun, but what you really need to know is Noelle loves smooth Jazz.

A lesson about Dolphins

Levi: [says something about riding dolphins]
Dad: Hey, Levi. I'm going to teach you something about dolphins. Dolphins and whales are different than fish and sharks. Dolphins and whales breathe through blowholes and fish and sharks breathe through gills.
Levi: ...
Dad: Does that make any sense?
Levi: No.
Dad: Ok. Well, dolphins and whales are mammals.
Levi: Yeah. And you can ride some of them.

Back to Work

Today was my first day back to work after a month off.

I was a little anxious last night like it was the first day of school or something. I thought I might forget how to work. I knew I'd feel better about the whole returning to work thing after a day back, and I do for the most part.

Everything is just how I remember it: crazy. I have a todo list that I'll never get to the bottom of. It's a priority stack. Important stuff gets added towards the top and not as important stuff gets added towards the bottom (where it will stay forever). When I pull an item off the stack to work on it usually gets its own sub-stack. If I don't keep up with this ridiculous bookkeeping I run the risk of forgetting what I was doing or missing something important. If I keep my todo lists organized and prioritized then it reduces my stress level. Got a million things to do? Just prioritize your list and start at the top.

My work is stressful sometimes, but in my experience, there is a scale with stressful on one side and boring on the other. For work, I'd almost always take stressful over boring, though when I'm stressed I can only hope for something nice and boring.

They replaced the arcade with a cafe. Instead of arcade games and pool and such I can buy sandwiches that were shipped there in plastic bags. I'm not complaining. I rarely used the arcade and often get hungry at work.

I had so many emails that I didn't even try to read them. First my Outlook crashed. On the second attempt I was able to click "Mark All as Read". Bam. Caught up on email. I'm sure that'll come back to bite me.

We're starting up crunch time. Not a few days or weeks of crunch time, but a few months. Thankfully, I get to ease back into it, and I should have a few weeks of normal hours. After that, there is a good chance I'll be able to put in some extra hours from home. I'm getting set up for remote access which I've never had before. I'm not looking forward to working hard all day then coming home and forcing myself to log in from home and work more, but it'll be worth it if I can see Levi before he goes to bed. I'm not worried about Noelle. She's bright eyed and bushy tailed between the hours of midnight and two AM.

Leah and the kids did good today, but today was a school day for Levi so the real test is tomorrow. It was great to come home and see them. I picked up Levi and carried him around on my shoulders and asked about his day. Then I picked up Noelle and thought about how this was the first time that I ever held her after missing her all day at work. Then she spew'd me. Then poo'd me.

Ball Stuck in Tree

Levi likes to make up games. One of his favorites is "ball stuck in tree". It takes two people, one (usually me, but in this case Pepaw) has the job of getting the ball stuck in the tree. Then the other person (always Levi) stands on top of his slide and has to hit the tree with the bat until the ball falls out. This usually takes about five seconds. Then player number one has to pick up the ball again and stick it back in the tree.

The most exciting part of the game is when a loose ball gets stuck again in a branch further down the tree. When this happens everybody points and laughs and screams "DOUBLE STUCK!!!"

Cast of Characters

Here are the people you need to know. From now on if I say something like "Levi called Noelle a meatball", you'll have some context.

	Tom. Dad. Yours truly.
	Leah. My wonderful wife. Mother of two.
	Levi. My son. Asks a lot of questions.
	Noelle. My daughter. Drinks a lot of milk.

Organization of the Site

I'm afraid for you, dear reader, that this blog will be arranged in a stream of consciousness format. In other words, there will be no organization. Your only option is to go by date. Which should work fine. As long as you aren't looking for anything in particular. Maybe I'll change my mind, but I just don't see any kind of organization by topic to be useful. What would the topics be? Who knows! I mean I can't even claim that individual posts will have a coherent topic.

I like toast.

VVVVVV is for Victory

I beat the game VVVVVV, and let me ensure you, that is an accomplishment. As you can see I died 2085 times. I can't remember ever being that furious at my computer screen, but I couldn't give up.

This game is insanely hard, but the checkpoints are close together so it's not an "artificial" difficulty. Each checkpoint is just really, really hard.

It's fair to say I hated this game, but I loved this game. It reminded me why we play video games - because of the challenge. In fact, this game started me on a new campaign to play difficult video games like we used to play back on the NES. Now those were hard games. Nowadays you just pay to play through a story. Boring. Games can provide you with a experience no other medium can, but only when they're challenging. Pick up this game (you can find it on Steam) and remember why we play games.

First Post

First words of the first post. Hi, my name is Tom. This is going to be a blog about anything except Magic: the Gathering.

I have a Magic blog already, that's why.

I started my Magic blog on a whim just like I started this blog on a whim. But, I found I enjoyed blogging. The thing is, I've always kept a kind of a journal. Now I'm going to share it with people. Why? Not really sure. Something deep down I think. I love my Magic site and I hope I keep it going a long time, but this one will be low commitment. Low commitment, but free to talk about whatever I want, not just magical cards.

One reason I'm doing this is for myself. I want a record (even a random and scattered tiny fragmented one) of my life besides Magic. I don't want to think twenty years from now, "Well... I have every Magic: the Gathering deck I ever built documented, but I wrote nothing about when my daughter was born". So here, I get to talk about my family.

No last names, (I'm old school like that), but, as I said, my name is Tom. My wife's name is Leah. I have son Levi who is three and half and my Daughter Noelle was born three weeks ago. They are all very special to me. Much more on them later I'm sure.

So I imagine this blog will be for me, for my family (hi Mom), but also maybe for random strangers on the internet. Kind of like how a novel is for strangers. I hope this will be personal, but accessible to someone from the outside. Also, I reserve the right to quit this blog at a moment's notice. In fact, that's how my Magic blog started. In the first post I said I was worried about starting a blog then having everyone see me quit, but If you don't have any readers then what's it matter! I spend a good bit of effort promoting my Magic site, but I won't with this one. I wouldn't even know how to begin promoting a blog about anything except Magic: the Gathering. This blog is also an experiment to see what happens to a blog that is not promoted. Will Google find it? Maybe, but it's entirely possible that I will have zero views for a long time. I'm going to remind myself that that's ok and this is firstly a blog for me and my family. If any others come along for a ride then that's bonus.

Seems like a fine place to end my first post.