Cujo and Wolf

I woke up to "Get up. The neighbor's dog is in our backyard."

Sure enough, there he was, prowling around like he owned the place. He was huge, and he'd come right up to our porch window, stare us down, and let loose a deep, beastly bark. Normally, I guess, that wouldn't be too big of a deal except we have a fence between our yard and the neighbor's. What did he do? Dig under it? Jump over it? No. He busted through it. There was a gaping hole punched through the old wood.

I figured I'd just go next door, explain the situation, and let the neighbor deal with it. Ding dong. No answer. Knock, knock, knock. Nothing. I came back and said nobody's home. Levi said "Oh well. I guess you can't go to work", but I explained that you have to go to work even when there is a strange dog in your backyard. I convinced Leah that I'd deal with it when I got home and I left.

About noon I got a call from Leah. I was in a meeting (or eating tacos?) so I didn't answer. I thought I'd just call her right back, but I forgot. Not an hour later she called again and I answered. "Hey. I'm at the Home Depot. What kind of wood should I get to fix this?" I say, "You don't want to just let the neighbor deal with it?" She says, "No. I had friends over today and we were trying to play in the Florida room but they kept barking at us." Apparently there were two dogs now. "And, to make it worse I really need to water my flowers or they're gonna die, but I'm not going out there. I think the neighbors are at the hospital having a baby or something." I say, "Uhhh. Ok". She made it clear that I would fix the fence when I got home from work.

On the way home, I mentally prepared for the showdown. Odds are, I'm just going to walk over to the hole in the fence, screw on the board that'll be that. But what if they're on my side of the fence when I get there? What if they hear me open the door and rush over to check it out? Maybe I should open the door as quietly as possible and hurry over to the hole so I can plug it up before they come out. Maybe they'll see me and advance, but I'll just charge the hole with my plywood up as shield, then I could apply my body weight to hold the beasts back. But... what if my cheap battery powered screwdriver isn't strong enough to screw into the wood... I'd better carry a hammer and some nails for backup. Yeah... wood shield and a war hammer.

Then I thought of another problem. My plywood was strong but the fence was weak. I could plug the hole but they'd just bust through the fence again. Then, I'd be caught off guard and I'd be in trouble. I always figured if I ever got attacked by a dog I'd try to get the animal to bite down on my forearm to protect my face and jugular... of course if there were two of them then I might have one on each arm... I'd have to drag them back towards the house and try to punch them off. I'd signal for the family to fall back into the kitchen in case the monsters got into the Florida room. A little trip to the emergency room and I'd be fine. Just have to keep them off my vitals.

OK. Enough planning. I'm home. Let's do this.

Turns out, the neighbor was home, he fixed the fence already, and the dogs were in their backyard rolling around and playing fetch with his kids. I checked out the repair job, said hello, and congratulated him on his new baby. The dogs came over wagging their tails and sniffed my hands. I played it cool, like it was no big deal, but I was thinking you beasts better be glad we didn't have to battle.

Quick Levi Update

He can add now. I asked him if he knew what three plus two was. He put three fingers on one hand, two on the other, and counted them up. "Five." Wow! I said, I didn't know you could add. Where did you learn to add? "Adding school."

He's also learned to talk trash while we're playing video games. I ran into the first goomba in the first world on Mario and he said, "Dada. Remember when I was playing and I jumped over that guy?" Later, I was losing big-time on the ridiculously hard special levels (he won't even try those). He said I was the "B-A-D-est ever", and I was so bad that I couldn't be in the family anymore. I said that wasn't even funny, but was laughing on the inside.

Be Happy

I've been reading a blog by Paul Graham. It's mostly programming/startup stuff, but his post from last April stuck with me. He references an article about the regrets of the dying, then transforms them into a blurb worthy of the top of your todo list:

Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy.

Those are all great, but I've found that remembering to "be happy" makes a real difference in my day to day. The key point is realizing that it is a choice. Though, it's not quite as simple as "go-go-be-happy" and you're all smiles. It's something you can't quite control, except perhaps indirectly. Here are few things that may help you do that.

Focus on the good. If something makes you happy, think about it. If you achieved a goal, think upon it and be happy. If fortune smiles upon you, smile back.

Don't let the bad get you down. This is basically a double standard. Circumstances are good? Be happy. Circumstances not good? Don't be unhappy. This one might be the most useful. Everyday something happens or we think about something that should probably make us upset, stressed, worried, or sad. Maybe it should or could, but what if it didn't? Is there really any benefit to, say, worrying about a project at work that is behind schedule? What if you just decided not to worry about it and instead, decided to be happy?

It's all relative. This one is a bit weird. Imagine a kid who plays with sticks, a beat up soccer ball, and an old raggedy teddy bear. All else equal, do you really think he'll be any less happy than the kid with every toy in the toy store? Are rich people happier than poor? I think I'm trying to suggest that happiness is relatively independent of circumstances. All you have is the present so you might as well enjoy it.

It's OK to not feel so happy for a bit. Sometimes you just feel blah. Our brains have lots of chemicals and stuff we (or at least I) don't understand. Sometimes I like to sing the first two lines of that Cake song "I'm not feeling alright today, I'm not feeling that great." And that's OK.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me

The New TV

I hooked my laptop up to my TV through HDMI, went to twitch.tv, and I'm now watching the MLG 2012 Spring Starcraft II Championship. They have an "observer" who acts as the camera man, announcers, intermission analysis, replays, sponsors, and funky background music. It really feels like a low-budget ESPN presentation. Except it's Starcraft. Not into Starcraft? No problem! You can watch whatever you want on the New TV.

Fire and Ice

Fire's main attack is Fireball though it can really turn up the heat with Flame Wave, and Volcano. Ice, can't claim the same damage output, but excels in defensive spells like Ice Shield, Blizzard, and the old reliable Frostbolt.

Sam's Club

We went to Sam's club to restock on non-perishables. Leah was excited, and I was trying to decide if it was worse than going to the dentist or not. We didn't buy food because it would most likely go bad, but Levi really wanted the box of 72 Pop Tarts.

Leah loves a good deal, and I'm always skeptical about whether we actually need industrial sized packages. I end up battling each thing she tries to put in the cart, but she's in charge of keeping the household items in stock so I defer to her judgement. I'm pretty sure Noelle won't be a baby anymore after we run out of the baby powder we bought today.

I don't know why, but I find that place funny. There's just something goofy about a 96 oz jar of mayonaise or a barrel of pickles. When Leah's not looking I like to sneak stuff into the cart, like two gallons of nacho cheese.

Levi was really impressed by the tower of paper towels 40 ft. high. I said I'd need a helicopter to get those. He said either that or a go-kart with sticky wheels. When I said those are hard to find, he said they're Japanese.

As our oversized shopping cart began to pile up Leah remembered that she forgot to take the stroller out of the trunk before we left. She said we could put the napkins back. I know you're thinking napkins aren't very big, but this was like 16,000 paper napkins. She looked kinda disappointed, so I said, nah, we'll keep it and just pile stuff in the backseat with the kids. Problem was, she just kept getting more stuff. Our shopping cart was overflowing; Levi had to hang on to the paper towels to keep them from falling out. So I put the napkins back. Even without the napkins it was close. I had to ride home with 36 rolls of toilet paper in my lap.