Turkey

I was at the the grocery store. The kids like to eat deli turkey so I walk up to the counter and take a number. I get 31, but they're "now serving" number 26. I decided I'd wait and see how long it takes them to step through a few numbers. If it's too slow I'll try to run over to the produce section and get bananas, strawberries, and an onion.

I wait a little while and we're still on 26. A little longer then I finally decide to go for it. I hustle off to get my produce wondering what happens if you miss your number. I imagine you just jump in there when they call a higher number... but surely if you're like 10 behind you'd cause problems... I rush back hoping I didn't miss my number. Now serving 26. OK. I see.

What else is on my list? Dairy stuff is too far away... water too... dried lentils. I think that's pretty close. I decide to risk it again. A few minutes later, and a few aisles over I cannot find dried lentils. I was relying I heavily on the signs hanging above each aisle telling you what items can be found in that aisle, but I guess "dried beans" don't get a shout-out. Two young employees were flirting while stocking the shelves. I busted in demanding to know where dried lentils were.  I snag a bag of lentils and high-tail it back to the deli counter. Still serving 26.

I noticed one lady,  number 28,  had been standing in the same spot since I originally pulled my number. She looked rather impatient. I parked my cart next to hers and said "Still serving 26!? Are we even using numbers today?" She shared my sentiment.

I don't know what order number 26 was. My friend's dad used to own an Italian restaurant, maybe this was some guy ordering the day's supply of sub provisions.

Finally, we move on to 27. Then not long after that 29. Good, this starting to look much better. A brief while later it's time for number 30. I'm next! But, not before Old Lady 30. She wants a third pound of this, this, and that. The lady behind the counter can't hear her very well so everything takes a while. A THIRD POUND OF THIS, THIS, AND THAT. Then she describes, very slowly, how she wants each meat sliced. Then the deli worker puts the meat on the scale and the Old Lady 30 says "No, no, no. I wanted a third pound total, not a third pound of everything." After the excess meat is discarded she says (I'm not making this up) "I want one piece of the ham cut really fat. The rest thin". The lady behind the counter kinda stares at her a bit... #30 says "You know so I can have a ham sandwich for lunch then cook the ham for breakfast". OK... back to the ham block, one fat slice. Everything totals to 0.34 pounds, and old lady says that will be fine. Praise the Lord.

Then, for some reason, the lady asked her "What else can I get you?". Noooooooo. #30 wants a half pound something else, the white stuff, and she says "I think I want it sliced on #2. Yeah. Slice number 2 and let me see what that looks like". I start to look around to make sure somebody besides me is seeing this. #2 slice?

I think the manager on duty began to notice the holdup so they opened another register. Serving 31? Woot! I start heading to the other register when some lady says "I got 32". I... just didn't speak fast enough. Now serving 32. Of course 32 is done before old lady 30. "33?"

"WAIT. STOP! I got 31!"

"You haven't been helped yet?"

"NO!"

"What can I get for you?"

"TURKEY! HALF POUND. DON'T CARE WHAT KIND AND NO I DON'T WANT A SAMPLE"

I acquired my turkey, then the rest of my groceries and drove home. When Noey wakes up from her nap and wants something to eat, I suppose it'll all be worth it.