Today Levi stayed home from school because he had a cough. This altered my normal daily pattern since I usually drop him off on the way to work. For some reason I thought it was a nice change of pace. I sat on the couch, drank my coffee, watched Curious George with the kids, and thought about how a little change every now and then was a good thing.
So I decided to switch it up. I didn't wear my hat to work; I actually combed my hair instead. I wore my old brown boots instead of my standard Nikes. I brought my lunch instead of going out. I took a different route to work, and listened to music I hadn't heard since college.
No punchline.
Also, check out the new Instagram plugin.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Field Trip
Instead of going to work today, I got lost in a corn maze.
It was a field trip for Levi. I tried to explain to the kids that if we just always turn right we'll get out, but they didn't listen, so we wandered around and around while I dragged a 30 pound sled through the dirt (Noey needs some off-road tires for that thing). As dumb as it sounds to push an umbrella stroller around a sandy dirt field, it ended up helping us navigate. We avoided going down the paths that already had stroller tracks. We eventually traversed the maze, finding all five "stations". I was pretty proud until I heard that was just the kiddie maze.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Splinter Emergency
I have nine minutes to make this post, gotta get to T-ball.
Leah got a call from Levi's school. "Levi got a splinter and we asked if he needed to go home a little early. He said yes". So she picked him up early. Because of a splinter.
Levi told me she tried to get it out with tweezers. Then she tried fingernail clippers. Then she tried tape. I was incredulous. Then he said she tried to get it out with a tomato. I thought for sure he was seeing what kind of ridiculous tale I would believe. When I refused to believe his mother tried to take out his splinter with a tomato he confessed it may have been a potato.
Come to find out, she actually taped a slice of potato to his hand. I have no idea.
Anyway, when I got home from work I pulled it out with some tweezers. Levi said splinters are the worst thing you can ever have and Leah said "looks like the potato worked".
Leah got a call from Levi's school. "Levi got a splinter and we asked if he needed to go home a little early. He said yes". So she picked him up early. Because of a splinter.
Levi told me she tried to get it out with tweezers. Then she tried fingernail clippers. Then she tried tape. I was incredulous. Then he said she tried to get it out with a tomato. I thought for sure he was seeing what kind of ridiculous tale I would believe. When I refused to believe his mother tried to take out his splinter with a tomato he confessed it may have been a potato.
Come to find out, she actually taped a slice of potato to his hand. I have no idea.
Anyway, when I got home from work I pulled it out with some tweezers. Levi said splinters are the worst thing you can ever have and Leah said "looks like the potato worked".
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Turkey
I was at the the grocery store. The kids like to eat deli turkey so I walk up to the counter and take a number. I get 31, but they're "now serving" number 26. I decided I'd wait and see how long it takes them to step through a few numbers. If it's too slow I'll try to run over to the produce section and get bananas, strawberries, and an onion.
I wait a little while and we're still on 26. A little longer then I finally decide to go for it. I hustle off to get my produce wondering what happens if you miss your number. I imagine you just jump in there when they call a higher number... but surely if you're like 10 behind you'd cause problems... I rush back hoping I didn't miss my number. Now serving 26. OK. I see.
What else is on my list? Dairy stuff is too far away... water too... dried lentils. I think that's pretty close. I decide to risk it again. A few minutes later, and a few aisles over I cannot find dried lentils. I was relying I heavily on the signs hanging above each aisle telling you what items can be found in that aisle, but I guess "dried beans" don't get a shout-out. Two young employees were flirting while stocking the shelves. I busted in demanding to know where dried lentils were. I snag a bag of lentils and high-tail it back to the deli counter. Still serving 26.
I noticed one lady, number 28, had been standing in the same spot since I originally pulled my number. She looked rather impatient. I parked my cart next to hers and said "Still serving 26!? Are we even using numbers today?" She shared my sentiment.
I don't know what order number 26 was. My friend's dad used to own an Italian restaurant, maybe this was some guy ordering the day's supply of sub provisions.
Finally, we move on to 27. Then not long after that 29. Good, this starting to look much better. A brief while later it's time for number 30. I'm next! But, not before Old Lady 30. She wants a third pound of this, this, and that. The lady behind the counter can't hear her very well so everything takes a while. A THIRD POUND OF THIS, THIS, AND THAT. Then she describes, very slowly, how she wants each meat sliced. Then the deli worker puts the meat on the scale and the Old Lady 30 says "No, no, no. I wanted a third pound total, not a third pound of everything." After the excess meat is discarded she says (I'm not making this up) "I want one piece of the ham cut really fat. The rest thin". The lady behind the counter kinda stares at her a bit... #30 says "You know so I can have a ham sandwich for lunch then cook the ham for breakfast". OK... back to the ham block, one fat slice. Everything totals to 0.34 pounds, and old lady says that will be fine. Praise the Lord.
Then, for some reason, the lady asked her "What else can I get you?". Noooooooo. #30 wants a half pound something else, the white stuff, and she says "I think I want it sliced on #2. Yeah. Slice number 2 and let me see what that looks like". I start to look around to make sure somebody besides me is seeing this. #2 slice?
I think the manager on duty began to notice the holdup so they opened another register. Serving 31? Woot! I start heading to the other register when some lady says "I got 32". I... just didn't speak fast enough. Now serving 32. Of course 32 is done before old lady 30. "33?"
"WAIT. STOP! I got 31!"
"You haven't been helped yet?"
"NO!"
"What can I get for you?"
"TURKEY! HALF POUND. DON'T CARE WHAT KIND AND NO I DON'T WANT A SAMPLE"
I acquired my turkey, then the rest of my groceries and drove home. When Noey wakes up from her nap and wants something to eat, I suppose it'll all be worth it.
I wait a little while and we're still on 26. A little longer then I finally decide to go for it. I hustle off to get my produce wondering what happens if you miss your number. I imagine you just jump in there when they call a higher number... but surely if you're like 10 behind you'd cause problems... I rush back hoping I didn't miss my number. Now serving 26. OK. I see.
What else is on my list? Dairy stuff is too far away... water too... dried lentils. I think that's pretty close. I decide to risk it again. A few minutes later, and a few aisles over I cannot find dried lentils. I was relying I heavily on the signs hanging above each aisle telling you what items can be found in that aisle, but I guess "dried beans" don't get a shout-out. Two young employees were flirting while stocking the shelves. I busted in demanding to know where dried lentils were. I snag a bag of lentils and high-tail it back to the deli counter. Still serving 26.
I noticed one lady, number 28, had been standing in the same spot since I originally pulled my number. She looked rather impatient. I parked my cart next to hers and said "Still serving 26!? Are we even using numbers today?" She shared my sentiment.
I don't know what order number 26 was. My friend's dad used to own an Italian restaurant, maybe this was some guy ordering the day's supply of sub provisions.
Finally, we move on to 27. Then not long after that 29. Good, this starting to look much better. A brief while later it's time for number 30. I'm next! But, not before Old Lady 30. She wants a third pound of this, this, and that. The lady behind the counter can't hear her very well so everything takes a while. A THIRD POUND OF THIS, THIS, AND THAT. Then she describes, very slowly, how she wants each meat sliced. Then the deli worker puts the meat on the scale and the Old Lady 30 says "No, no, no. I wanted a third pound total, not a third pound of everything." After the excess meat is discarded she says (I'm not making this up) "I want one piece of the ham cut really fat. The rest thin". The lady behind the counter kinda stares at her a bit... #30 says "You know so I can have a ham sandwich for lunch then cook the ham for breakfast". OK... back to the ham block, one fat slice. Everything totals to 0.34 pounds, and old lady says that will be fine. Praise the Lord.
Then, for some reason, the lady asked her "What else can I get you?". Noooooooo. #30 wants a half pound something else, the white stuff, and she says "I think I want it sliced on #2. Yeah. Slice number 2 and let me see what that looks like". I start to look around to make sure somebody besides me is seeing this. #2 slice?
I think the manager on duty began to notice the holdup so they opened another register. Serving 31? Woot! I start heading to the other register when some lady says "I got 32". I... just didn't speak fast enough. Now serving 32. Of course 32 is done before old lady 30. "33?"
"WAIT. STOP! I got 31!"
"You haven't been helped yet?"
"NO!"
"What can I get for you?"
"TURKEY! HALF POUND. DON'T CARE WHAT KIND AND NO I DON'T WANT A SAMPLE"
I acquired my turkey, then the rest of my groceries and drove home. When Noey wakes up from her nap and wants something to eat, I suppose it'll all be worth it.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Cleaning House
In High School my friends and I spent most of our time playing Star Wars Cards. Towards the end of our card playing era I decided to try to trade for my friends' collections. I got Jason's collection for a nice chess set and Jim's for my collection of Lord of the Rings cards. Josh wanted my truck, so that was a no go.
For the last ten years I've had a pretty huge collection of cards sitting in my closet, and I finally decided to sell them off. I wouldn't trade my cards for cash in the bank, but I would trade them for more cards: Magic cards. Specifically, I want to build a cube. I began selling my cards on ebay, and with only two rounds of auctions I've made over two hundred dollars.
Leah denies it, but basically she's jealous; so she signed up for a consignment sale. I pulled 37 bags of toys and clothes out of 117 degree attic. We can't park in the garage and our house looks like an episode of Hoarders. We spent a small fortune on replacement batteries, price labels, and hangers. I cleaned dozens of old crusty toys, tested them out, and priced them.
A few weeks from now we'll have less stuff we don't need around this house, and we might even break even. We'll definitely have some sweet Magic cards though.
For the last ten years I've had a pretty huge collection of cards sitting in my closet, and I finally decided to sell them off. I wouldn't trade my cards for cash in the bank, but I would trade them for more cards: Magic cards. Specifically, I want to build a cube. I began selling my cards on ebay, and with only two rounds of auctions I've made over two hundred dollars.
Leah denies it, but basically she's jealous; so she signed up for a consignment sale. I pulled 37 bags of toys and clothes out of 117 degree attic. We can't park in the garage and our house looks like an episode of Hoarders. We spent a small fortune on replacement batteries, price labels, and hangers. I cleaned dozens of old crusty toys, tested them out, and priced them.
A few weeks from now we'll have less stuff we don't need around this house, and we might even break even. We'll definitely have some sweet Magic cards though.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
The fence and stuff
The dogs broke through the fence again. Many times actually. It was calm for a while but they got a new puppy which finds tiny little holes to weasel through into our yard. I wouldn't mind the puppy except the big dogs get stressed when the little one gets away so they basically hulk-smash the fence until they create a hole big enough to get through. They retrieve the puppy but instead of returning home they usually take the opportunity to explore the neighborhood.
Every time they bust a hole in the fence I replace the broken boards with new ones. I think I've replaced almost half the fence by now, though today's job was the biggest. I was out of boards so I went to the Home Depot.
Over in the lumber section on a Thursday in the middle of the day, you'll find the pros. I tried to act like I was a regular but it took me like 15 minutes to find wood screws. Then, I felt a little bit like a noob with my half inch fence pickets. Somehow it was worse because I had to buy screws, like I didn't have any. "Need to buy a screwdriver for you big job too?" Then, of course, I had to figure out how to get my fence pickets into the Corolla. Seriously, I didn't even know how to get the back seat to fold down. After a few minutes of futility I finally embarrassingly consulted my owner's manual. Compare this to tossing your two by fours into the back of your pickup. At this very moment I thought... I had a Salon appointment this morning... which I really did.
Regarding screwdrivers, turns out the the little battery powered thing we have is not meant for fence repair. I didn't realize this until today when I finally decided to bust out my drill (with a Phillips head bit). I was expecting an improvement but it was even better than I hoped. What used to be a battle over every screw was now as easy as snapping together Legos.
Regarding Legos, we've built a castle and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Lair. By we, I mean I. I think we need to scale down the complexity of our projects and start putting more work on Levi. He likes to build the little guys, and play with the finished result through.
Levi and I have also started playing Magic. We're both enjoying it and he's learning to read, add, and subtract.
Noelle is still using minimal words. I swear she knows everything we're talking about and probably could talk if she wanted to. Right now she prefers communicating complex thoughts through mime.
I think Leah enjoys having me home; I know she's looking forward to her new bathroom mirrors and cabinets.
I've starting drafting Magic Online. I'm really enjoying it (though it does stress me out a little). I could potentially see this as the beginning of a new hobby that could last a while, but you never know with these kinds of things. As much as I think I'd like that now, I rarely correctly estimate how long I'll stick with whatever I'm into at the time.
Next post should have photos.
Every time they bust a hole in the fence I replace the broken boards with new ones. I think I've replaced almost half the fence by now, though today's job was the biggest. I was out of boards so I went to the Home Depot.
Over in the lumber section on a Thursday in the middle of the day, you'll find the pros. I tried to act like I was a regular but it took me like 15 minutes to find wood screws. Then, I felt a little bit like a noob with my half inch fence pickets. Somehow it was worse because I had to buy screws, like I didn't have any. "Need to buy a screwdriver for you big job too?" Then, of course, I had to figure out how to get my fence pickets into the Corolla. Seriously, I didn't even know how to get the back seat to fold down. After a few minutes of futility I finally embarrassingly consulted my owner's manual. Compare this to tossing your two by fours into the back of your pickup. At this very moment I thought... I had a Salon appointment this morning... which I really did.
Regarding screwdrivers, turns out the the little battery powered thing we have is not meant for fence repair. I didn't realize this until today when I finally decided to bust out my drill (with a Phillips head bit). I was expecting an improvement but it was even better than I hoped. What used to be a battle over every screw was now as easy as snapping together Legos.
Regarding Legos, we've built a castle and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Lair. By we, I mean I. I think we need to scale down the complexity of our projects and start putting more work on Levi. He likes to build the little guys, and play with the finished result through.
Levi and I have also started playing Magic. We're both enjoying it and he's learning to read, add, and subtract.
Noelle is still using minimal words. I swear she knows everything we're talking about and probably could talk if she wanted to. Right now she prefers communicating complex thoughts through mime.
I think Leah enjoys having me home; I know she's looking forward to her new bathroom mirrors and cabinets.
I've starting drafting Magic Online. I'm really enjoying it (though it does stress me out a little). I could potentially see this as the beginning of a new hobby that could last a while, but you never know with these kinds of things. As much as I think I'd like that now, I rarely correctly estimate how long I'll stick with whatever I'm into at the time.
Next post should have photos.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Troublemakers
I woke up this morning to find both of my children in timeout. Levi, for leaving the bathroom door open and Noelle, for throwing the TV remote in the toilet.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Crisis Averted
If you wake up on your wife's birthday with nothing, and you can't leave the house all day, what do you do?
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Veggies
Leah: You gotta learn to eat veggies.
Levi: I eat veggies!
Levi: ...
Levi: What's a veggie?
Leah: You know... like... carrot sticks.
Levi: What's a carrot stick?
Levi: ...
Levi: Carrot on a stick?
Levi: I eat veggies!
Levi: ...
Levi: What's a veggie?
Leah: You know... like... carrot sticks.
Levi: What's a carrot stick?
Levi: ...
Levi: Carrot on a stick?
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Jumble
There is some story to be told about Levi calling for his mother at 4 am and insisting that there were three spiders on his fan. I'm fuzzy on the details. I understand they eventually agreed the spiders were gone and mom could go back to bed. We finally threw out an old pan Leah and I have had since we got married. I took it down to the street for the trash ninjas. I taught Levi today that Lizard, Wizard, and Blizzard rhyme because they all got an "izzard". While doing dishes tonight, Leah and I briefly discussed how much we'd be willing to spend to have all dishes automatically done. I think this figure would push the boundaries of what we could afford. I also spent some time trying to explain to her how crazy busy I am at work. I thought it would just be so hard for her to believe because of how lazy I am around the house, but to my surprise, she believed me. I'm winding down from Diablo now, back to watching Lost. And... there is one more thing on my scrap of paper I wanted to mention but I honestly can't read it. It looks like: Friday honk - as we tried.
Monday, April 1, 2013
No Joke
I beat Hardcore Inferno. In Diablo 3, Inferno is the hardest difficulty and Hardcore means if your character dies then he is permanently dead. Here's my character: http://us.battle.net/d3/en/profile/badmalloc-1757/hero/27553608. 650 all res, 7000 armor and 90k hp. 43 hours played and 0 deaths. Probably my top gaming achievement so far.
Leah suggested I move on with my life, but I made a new character, so she resorted to lagging out my connection by uploading gigabytes of data to Shutterfly while streaming the Braves game in HD.
Noelle can toddle all over house now. Look away for a second and she's dunking her milk cup in the toilet.
Leah suggested I move on with my life, but I made a new character, so she resorted to lagging out my connection by uploading gigabytes of data to Shutterfly while streaming the Braves game in HD.
Noelle can toddle all over house now. Look away for a second and she's dunking her milk cup in the toilet.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Lord of Terror
I'm obsessed with Diablo 3 again. Not sure why I picked it back up, but now I can't put it down. As usual, I'm neglecting other parts of life, but thankfully so far the damage has been limited to non-critical items, such as this blog. I actually like to sit around and ponder what it would take for me to officially call this my favorite game ever... it's getting close, though I'm a bit reluctant to declare anything is better than Final Fantasy 6. That was just really important part of my childhood. Levi, on the other hand doesn't have such reservations. His most favorite game ever is whatever game he played last, or in some cases, a game he hasn't even played yet.
In other news, Levi is learning to read and Noelle is learning to walk. In addition, I love draft beer and fresh salsa on the weekend. So much so, my family is refusing to go to Mexican restaurants until further notice.
In other news, Levi is learning to read and Noelle is learning to walk. In addition, I love draft beer and fresh salsa on the weekend. So much so, my family is refusing to go to Mexican restaurants until further notice.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
National Bagel Day
The four of us went to Soccer this morning. Levi ran around with a bunch of kids and a few coaches who really seemed to know what they were doing. They played games like "pirate treasure" and "spaghetti and meatballs" (I don't know) while learning to dribble and shoot with their laces.
Afterwords we set out to find breakfast. We weren't sure where to go until Leah remembered this "pastry place" she heard about. Only problem was she didn't know where it was. So, we drove around for a while. Instead, fate took us to Einstein's where we received two free bagels with purchase of two beverages. We also got a cinnamon twist for Levi, but Noelle ended up eating it.
After Einstein's we went to Home Depot to get flowers. We've been trying to spruce up the yard to prepare for Noelle's big birthday bash. Leah gets a bit obsessed with the yard-work. Possessed may be the right word, like she's some kind of mad-woman. She overdid it last weekend and spent the week moping about the house with a sore back, so I volunteered to plant the flowers this time. However, that was before I realized she wanted them planted right in the middle of a category five ant hill.
I gave it a kick to see if it was active. Yes. While I was considering my options Leah walked over. "What are you doing?"
I pointed, "Big anthill."
She didn't look impressed. "Can't you just... shovel it out or something."
"Uhhhh...."
"Whatever. Where's the shovel, I'll do it." That's her tactic, see. It always has been. So unless I wanted her trying to dig up 300,000 ants I had to plant these flowers.
"Ok, Ok. I'll do it."
"When?" She acted like she was going to find the shovel.
"Right now! How's that!?"
"Great".
We decided to break up the anthill and spray the ants dead. Unfortunately, all we had was "all natural ant killer". I read the bottle. It said "kills on contact", yet the active ingredient was lemongrass oil. Turns out I was right to be skeptical. After I sprayed about half the bottle I determined I would have had better luck trying to drown them with the hose.
In the end, I just tried to avoid them. I planted 36 flowers and only got bit 7 times.
Afterwords we set out to find breakfast. We weren't sure where to go until Leah remembered this "pastry place" she heard about. Only problem was she didn't know where it was. So, we drove around for a while. Instead, fate took us to Einstein's where we received two free bagels with purchase of two beverages. We also got a cinnamon twist for Levi, but Noelle ended up eating it.
After Einstein's we went to Home Depot to get flowers. We've been trying to spruce up the yard to prepare for Noelle's big birthday bash. Leah gets a bit obsessed with the yard-work. Possessed may be the right word, like she's some kind of mad-woman. She overdid it last weekend and spent the week moping about the house with a sore back, so I volunteered to plant the flowers this time. However, that was before I realized she wanted them planted right in the middle of a category five ant hill.
I gave it a kick to see if it was active. Yes. While I was considering my options Leah walked over. "What are you doing?"
I pointed, "Big anthill."
She didn't look impressed. "Can't you just... shovel it out or something."
"Uhhhh...."
"Whatever. Where's the shovel, I'll do it." That's her tactic, see. It always has been. So unless I wanted her trying to dig up 300,000 ants I had to plant these flowers.
"Ok, Ok. I'll do it."
"When?" She acted like she was going to find the shovel.
"Right now! How's that!?"
"Great".
We decided to break up the anthill and spray the ants dead. Unfortunately, all we had was "all natural ant killer". I read the bottle. It said "kills on contact", yet the active ingredient was lemongrass oil. Turns out I was right to be skeptical. After I sprayed about half the bottle I determined I would have had better luck trying to drown them with the hose.
In the end, I just tried to avoid them. I planted 36 flowers and only got bit 7 times.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Sweater Pants
Yesterday, Leah said if she had a blog she'd write about sweater pants. Well, she doesn't, but I do, so I decided to post what I think she would say.
Hey Girls! I gotta tell y'all about something for serious: sweater pants. If somehow you don't know what I'm talking about let me fill you in... actually it's a bit hard to explain... Here we go. Imagine the biggest sweater you've ever seen. Now, put your legs in the arm holes and tie a belt around your waist. Bam! You're wearing sweater pants. Why would you do this? Comfort!
When I first laid eyes on these at the GAP I knew I had to have them. I knew they had to be comfortable, and I was right. Sooooooo comfy.
I must admit there is one tiny problem with sweater pants. Lying on the couch in Florida, in sweater pants, under my fleece blanket can get a little hot. But, it's really no problem, I just make Tommy get up and turn the A/C down.
Get to the store, buy some sweater pants. Let me know when you go and I'll come with you. I need some more.
Hey Girls! I gotta tell y'all about something for serious: sweater pants. If somehow you don't know what I'm talking about let me fill you in... actually it's a bit hard to explain... Here we go. Imagine the biggest sweater you've ever seen. Now, put your legs in the arm holes and tie a belt around your waist. Bam! You're wearing sweater pants. Why would you do this? Comfort!
When I first laid eyes on these at the GAP I knew I had to have them. I knew they had to be comfortable, and I was right. Sooooooo comfy.
I must admit there is one tiny problem with sweater pants. Lying on the couch in Florida, in sweater pants, under my fleece blanket can get a little hot. But, it's really no problem, I just make Tommy get up and turn the A/C down.
Get to the store, buy some sweater pants. Let me know when you go and I'll come with you. I need some more.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
You gotta brush yo teeth
If you must.
Or else you'll be FUNKY!
Levi made a reminder sign to hang in the bathroom.
Or else you'll be FUNKY!
Levi made a reminder sign to hang in the bathroom.
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